Why Young Cameroonian Men Struggle to Find Mentors

I was listening to a conversation on mentorship on MenTality with Ebuka, and one line stayed with me: someone said he had stopped looking for mentors who only show you their garage. He wanted the ones who would show you their mistakes.

That line stayed because it names something we see often. We see the car, the title, the office, the wedding pictures, the imported suit, the big man at the high table. What we rarely see is the process. The debt. The wrong decisions. The years of confusion. The moment the person almost gave up.

So a young man grows up seeing results without the road that produced them. Then we ask why he is impatient.

I do not think young Cameroonian men lack mentors because there are no older men around. There are older men everywhere — fathers, uncles, pastors, bosses, lecturers, elder brothers, entrepreneurs, civil servants, drivers, mechanics, traders, artists. The issue is access. Mentorship is rarely named, structured, or easy to ask for without feeling like you are begging.

Most of us were mentored by proximity. The uncle who helped you write your first CV. The neighbour who let you sit in his shop and watch how he handled customers. The boss who did not just pay you but explained why your work was weak. If your family, school, church, workplace, or neighbourhood did not place the right person near you, you were left to guess.

That is why mentorship quietly becomes a class thing. Some people are born near good examples. Some are born near chaos and are expected to become wise from it.

We also have to be honest about the country. The World Bank says young people aged 18 to 35 make up 57% of Cameroon's labour force, but many struggle to find work. The National Institute of Statistics reported that 86.6% of jobs are in the informal sector. So even when people are working, many are working without clear career ladders, senior guides, or predictable training paths.

The older man who could guide you may be selling, hustling, chasing payments, trying to pay school fees, and hiding his own fear from his family. He may have wisdom, but no space to turn it into guidance. Mentorship needs time, and survival does not give people that time easily.

Money also became the loudest mentor. The World Bank's Cameroon overview says poverty reduction has stagnated and that about 4 in 10 Cameroonians live below the national poverty line. In that kind of atmosphere, money becomes proof. Proof that you are smart. Proof that you are blessed. Proof that you are a man. Proof that people should listen when you talk.

The internet is filling the empty seat — but not always well. World Bank data puts internet usage in Cameroon at about 46.3% of the population in 2024. For the young men who are online, the internet can become a full-time school for money, relationships, masculinity, politics, and ambition. The problem is the internet does not always reward wisdom. It rewards confidence, speed, anger, money, and certainty. The person who says "work slowly, build character, learn skill, be patient" is competing with the person who says "nobody cares about you, get rich now, dominate everyone." One message is slower. The other one feels like power.

This is why our own stories matter. We have Cameroonians who have built real things from Bonamoussadi, Buea, Molyko, Akwa, Nkwen, Bastos, Bafoussam, Kumba, and many other places. But many of their stories are locked inside private conversations. Some people do not want to look proud. Some do not want their failures used against them. So they keep quiet. If the good examples stay quiet, the loud examples win.

I do not think the first step is walking up to a successful person and saying "please be my mentor." That can work, but many times it is too vague. Start smaller. Look for wisdom before access. Read what the person has written. Listen to their interviews. Watch how they work. Study their choices. You can learn a lot before the person ever knows your name.

Ask better questions. Not "how can I make it?" Ask what mistake cost the person the most. Ask what skill gave them the biggest advantage. Ask what they misunderstood about money. Ask what they learned late that you should start learning now. Specific questions respect people's time. They also show that you are looking for wisdom, not just connection.

Do not expect one man to carry all the answers. You may need one person for career, another for money, another for faith, another for marriage, another for emotional discipline. Some men are excellent in business and poor at family. Some are good fathers but weak with money. Some are brilliant but arrogant. Take wisdom where it is clean. Leave what is not.

Peer mentorship counts too. Sometimes the person who helps you most is not twenty years ahead. Sometimes he is two years ahead. The friend who learned how to invoice clients before you did. The guy who got rejected by five companies and can help you fix your CV. The friend who can say "I am not okay" and the room does not laugh.

Older men have work to do too. Not every wound belongs to the public, but younger men need enough truth to see the road. Show the mistake, not only the award. Show the season when business was dry. Show the wrong partnership. Show the skill you had to learn late. Young men do not only need motivation. They need maps.

I do not have a grand solution. I do not think one article will fix how Cameroonian men learn, fail, hide, and survive. But many young men are not lazy or entitled. Some are simply trying to become men without enough honest examples of what that looks like. And if we do not mentor them, something else will.