Why You're Not Reading As Much

I've been thinking about this a lot lately. Not in a "I should read more" kind of way, but more like, why does it feel like I've stopped? Not completely, but enough that I notice the gap.

There was a time when books were just there. In the house, at school, tablet (they flop na flop). You'd pick one up because it was raining, or the TV wasn't working, or you were avoiding something. Now? Now I scroll. I watch. I listen to podcasts about reading instead of actually reading.

And I'm not alone in this. Most of the guys I know, we're not reading like we used to. Not because we don't want to, but because something shifted.

Here's what I've noticed: when you stop reading, you start thinking smaller. Not immediately, but gradually. Your vocabulary shrinks. You repeat the same phrases. You find yourself saying "capital punishment" when you mean "corporal punishment" and then wondering why everyone's looking at you weird.

It's not just about knowing big words. It's about having the space to think through things properly. Books give you that. They force you to sit with an idea for more than 30 seconds. They make you follow someone else's logic, even when it's uncomfortable.

And when you don't have that, you start accepting whatever narrative shows up first. You become easier to convince, harder to convince at the same time. You believe things because they sound right, not because you've actually thought them through.

The thing is, I don't think guys like me are anti-reading. We're just not finding the right stuff. Or we're finding it, but we're not making space for it.

When I was younger, I read whatever was around. Sports stories, mysteries, things about people who did interesting things. Now everything feels like it's either trying to sell me something or teach me a lesson I didn't ask for. And the stuff that's actually good? I don't hear about it from my friends. I hear about it from people who already read a lot.

There's also this thing where we think reading has to be this serious, intentional activity. Like you need to set aside an hour, find a quiet spot, have your coffee just right. But that's not how it works for most of us. Sometimes you read on the bus. Sometimes you listen to a book while you're walking. Sometimes you read three pages before you fall asleep and that's enough for the day.

Here's something I've been thinking about: we're influenced by what our friends care about. If your friends are all watching the same shows, you're probably watching them too. If they're all talking about this one book, you'll probably pick it up.

But most of my friends aren't talking about books. We talk about work, about football, about what's happening in the nzui-manto's page. And that's fine, but it means we're not pushing each other toward reading the way we push each other toward other things.

I've seen it work the other way too. When one person in a group starts reading something interesting, suddenly everyone's curious. Not because they're trying to be smart, but because the conversation around it is good. They want to be part of that.

I don't have a solution. This isn't that kind of post. But I have a few observations.

First, we need to stop acting like reading is this moral test. You're not a better person because you read. You're just someone who reads. And that's it.

Second, we need more guys writing about the stuff we actually care about and in words that you & I use everyday. Like write but use the 'nah's & 'chai's. Stories that show our struggles, stories, relationships, families and language. Not just success stories or advice columns (message to the facebook guys).

Third, we need to be more intentional about what we put in front of our friends. Not in a preachy way, but in a "hey, this was good, you should check it out" way. Sometimes that's enough. Sometimes it's not. But at least we're trying.

The real issue isn't that we're not reading. It's that we're not thinking as much as we could be. Reading is just one way to do that, but it's a good one. It gives you access to other people's brains, other ways of seeing things. It makes you slower to judge and quicker to understand.

And when we don't have that, we miss out. Not just on knowledge, but on the chance to see ourselves more clearly. To understand why we think the way we do, why we do the things we do.

I'm not going to suddenly start reading 30 books a year. That's not realistic for me right now. But I am going to pay more attention to what I'm consuming. To make space for things that make me think, even if it's just a few pages a day.

Because the alternative is staying exactly where I am. And I'd rather not do that.

anyhow.